1000 Words from Iraq

The Driver's license experience

Here's a side story, kind of a version of Fred's ID Card lady...
So, I've been trying to switch my driver's license from Illinois to Florida, but I kind of lost my license before I left and it was suspended because of some "speeding ticket" thing. I went into the license bureau, armed with my birth certificate, military ID and my re-instatement papers, perfectly prepared to play the "Iraq card" if anyone gave me any trouble. I got to the first desk, where a mean looking guy (think typical security guard- big, bald and scary) sat, his only job to send most people away so that the people in back don't have to work so much. He asks me what I need and I explain my situation. "Do you have your birth certificate and driver's license?"... "No, but I have my birth certificate and this really nice government-issued military ID, I just got back from Iraq and I"m afraid during the shuffle, I lost my license." "Going to Iraq is no excuse for losing your license." Apparently, this guy is about to be deployed and he's a little bitter about it. So much for sympathy.
After some negotiations, I made it past his desk and to the next counter to this lady who is temping for the day and trying to learn the system. We went through about 30 minutes of paperwork, taking photos and such and then she's like, "apparently your license is suspended in Wisconsin" "I know and I brought the reinstatement papers with me" She looks at them and is like, "you were supposed to send these into the state and pay $50", "But I already paid my fine." "We can't reinstate your license until you pay $50"
The papers didn't say anything about $50... "So, what do I have to do, wait until the check makes it in the mail and clears my account?" that could take weeks, I don't have that kind of time.... "You may be able to call up the Wisconsin DMV and pay it over the phone."
So I call the number for the Wisconsin DMV and I'm faced with a set of choices and an automated machine. I enter my selection and suddenly and woman starts speaking really fast in Spanish. I know Spanish, but I don't want to deal with a Spanish automated service... several selections and half an hour later, I'm speaking with someone who sounds like a real person. I'm startled at first, because it's been so long since I've spoken to a real person that I forget what I'm actually calling about, but I manage to splurt out my dilema and pay my extra money over the phone. She says, "You're good to go" and is about to hang up when I ask her, "does 'good to go' mean I'll be able to get my license tomorrow?" "It usually takes 24-48 hours for it to post on the national system." that's a maybe, I guess.
The next day I go back and I sneak past the angry front desk man and into a line behind a funny old man. He looks up at me, looks down at my military ID and the first thing he says is, "I was in Vietnam and I hate this war, we should bring them all home." Ok, that's great, but I didn't come here to discuss the war, I want my driver's license. We go back through the paper work, pictures, "No, I don't have my Illinois driver's license with me, and he says, "Look into the eye thing and we'll be good to go."
Well, I forgot that day that I only had one of my contacts in (the other one was giving me trouble that morning) and I read the first eye perfectly, but when he covered the good eye, I realized I couldn't see a thing. So I explained my dilema and he says "I have to clear you on both eyes" I'm desperate, I want my license, now. So, I say, can I run to the bathroom and put this contact in the other eye and he says, as long as I can verify you can see out of that eye. The switch is made and I get my license! YEAH!

posted by Blair Heusdens @ 6:59 AM